those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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