He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
