i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
