Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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