so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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