it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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