It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
