So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
