I wanna bring you to show and tell
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
