i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
