I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
