So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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