If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he just fucked me for my cheese.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
