I just cut my nipple shaving
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
