i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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