I think im going to throw up on grandma
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
