awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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