you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
