Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
