She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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