found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
