I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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