A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
