I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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