did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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