Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm both gender and math confused
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
