Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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