Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
