Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We named our party play list daddy issues
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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