bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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