I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
