My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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