I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
