I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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