i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
