would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
