I wish I could teleport
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
