i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So much rum. So many feels.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
