This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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