so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
