I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
