I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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