He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
