I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
