I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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