The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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