so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
