I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
