no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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