guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
